Choose to be Happy

I was just reading through different posts on Tumblr and came across this one that said she would live a life alone because she lost the only love she'd ever have. I looked at her profile but didn't see an age. Her picture looks like early 20s but I'm often wrong with ages. Either way it got me thinking.
How often do we experience something in our lives and believe that's it for us? We think that we won't ever experience that kind of happiness, joy, elation or positive feeling again. We can't imagine this type of experience ever repeating itself or we do not want it to because we want to maintain the appreciation of the first experience.

How often do we believe that our one chance has passed? We think life only offers this kind of opportunity one time and we feel lucky that it happened to us once so we cannot imagine that life could possibly offer up the opportunity again.

I wonder if sometimes we enjoy sinking into our own sadness. I wonder if we simply find it simpler to believe the worst possible outcome for our own future rather than believe that life is really hopeful and full of possibility.

I know that I myself have fallen into that mode of thinking. I have found it difficult to find the hope and possibility beyond a moment in time where I lost something important and exciting. Inevitably life opens a new door and the possibility once again shines through. Sadly it seems we focus more on our remorse, sadness, loss, and hopeless moments than we do on those inevitable moments of happiness and joy.

This too happens within relationships. We often hang onto words spoken in anger or moments of miscommunication rather than the moments of purity, love, caring, and connection. We tend to forget the moment our spouse did something small yet perfect in an effort to show us that they care and yet we hold on to the moment a week ago that our spouse snapped at us for nothing even though it was because they were in pain and had nothing to do with us at all. We often forget that day that our spouse held us while we cried or rubbed our back when we hurt so bad or held our hand when we were afraid, but somehow we remember last month that moment when he/she didn't notice how upset we were and we felt ignored.

Life is too short to live in this perpetual state of unhappiness and/or hopelessness. It goes by so quickly that to live without hope or to focus so intensely on the negative moments, which we all have, seems a waste.

It is perfectly natural and normal to work through moments of grief during times of loss. It is natural to be hurt in those moments when someone seems to forget us. It is normal to allow ourselves to feel in the moment. It is in the holding on to this pain that we often go overboard. There is always something to focus on in either direction. It is a matter of choice.

Happiness is a choice in the long term. Some situations can create happiness, some moments can as well. Some situations create loss, grief, sadness, and a plethora of other emotions. Feeling these things in the moment is perfectly normal and healthy, but in the long run happiness is a choice we make, hope is  a choice we make, and life is a choice we make. And when we choose life and hope, our other choices support that choice and lead to further happiness. When we choose to wallow in grief and loss, our choices are effected in the same manner and they will support that choice as well.

I have had experiences with both choices. I have chosen, subconsciously, loss and grief and my choices reflect the choice and support it as well. I have also chosen happiness, gratefulness, and joy, and my choices then reflect that choice and support it. All of life is a choice! Life becomes what you choose it to be. Nothing it permanent, nothing is always or never, and everything is a choice. Make the choice!