Have I told you lately that I love you? Reminded you how important and precious you are to me? I know you don't always believe that you are special, but you are. You are my hero.
Let me recount just a few ways in which that is true, but please remember that this is no where close to all of them. Every day in a hundred little ways you are my hero and I fall in love with you all over again.
I would have to say that first and foremost you saved me. You saved me from myself. When we got together I was in a dark place. I was lost, afraid, and withdrawn. I had no ability to make rational judgements or trust myself in any way. Instead of growing in my last long term relationship I had shrunk into nothing. You saved me from all of that.
You were patient and kind. You reminded me that you were NEVER going to hurt me and that I didn't have to fear you. You constantly reminded me to be myself. It took a lot of years but you stood by me and took the time it needed to rebuild my self esteem and strength. And then you helped it grow into so much more.
If it hadn't been for those building blocks that YOU provided I never could have accomplished all that I have done. I never could have been a talk radio hostess or even share my writing online as I do. I never could have made some of the amazing friends we've met over the years because I would have been too afraid.
So thank you for loving me enough to help me become a whole person again and for having the patience that it took to help get me there.
I also want to thank you for being who you always are but moreso when we lost our child. I know you don't really see the strength you showed at that time because you too were suffering but even in your suffering you so often put me first. I saw that. You gave me space when you knew it was right to and you were there for me when I couldn't stand alone.
So many marraiges crumble at the loss of a child but because of who you are, who WE are, it just brought us that much closer. You were and are my strength in the times I needed you and need you the most. I know you don't always realize that but I will continue to tell you until someday you understand.
Over the years you have been not only my strength but the strength for others as well. Your kind heart has helped so many of our friends and family. Your generosity has blessed so many. And each and every time it melts my heart and reminds me why you are so amazing and I fall in love all over again.
Even now, as my body fights me at every turn, you are there for me. You support me and help me in ways you don't even understand. Just seeing you across the room, knowing you love me, having you near me, is a comfort in my weakest of moments.
You take care of me when I cannot do it myself. You make sure I'm okay even when you aren't always doing so well yourself. You might not see it. You might not understand it. I know you have a difficult time accepting it.
I'll keep telling you until someday it sinks in and then I'll continue to tell you, because you are amazing and strong and I wouldn't be who I am without you. I love you more than words can ever express.
Love
Tracy
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