It's All About the Journey

Have Fun IT!

I’ve been thinking a LOT lately about the meaning of life and our journey here. Maybe not so much the meaning but the journey itself.

I think you reach certain ages and there are these moments when someone says something that makes you look back over your life and realize things that you couldn’t have during the experience of it.

For instance I can look back now and know with complete certainty that I wish I had spent MORE time with my kids. Yes I was a stay at home mom for most of their lives but I know now that I was selfish. I remember thinking how pointless life was and how bored I was with it, when I should have been savoring every moment of who they were. I should have been creating MORE memories, for there never are truly enough wonderful ones.

I look back now and wish that I had been more accepting of every single dream they ever had, instead of trying to create dreams for them. I wish I had encouraged them more and done so much less stifling. I wish I had hugged more and yelled less. I wish I had listened more and worried less.

I look back over my years and wish I had done more running and playing when I could have, for now that the ability is gone from my body and my children are grown I wish I had those memories to look back on for us all.

Did I really think they would turn out so bad if I didn’t push and worry all the time? Did I think that if I let them dream they might end up so bad off? I was so worried about them not having money and careers that I pushed them when I should have been playing. I worried when I should have been enjoying. I can’t change that now but I can offer it to other young moms. Stop worrying and enjoy them. Stop rolling your eyes and stick out your tongue. Stop cleaning and dance.

I look at my husband and wonder how I can make him see that every moment we have is precious, even those moments when it feels like there is no LIFE left to our life. The fact that we have each other is amazing.

Yesterday, while I lay here sicker than I’ve been in years and crying, my husband spontaneously came over and just held me and stroked my head. Even though I looked and felt like crap, he came over and made me feel special and took care of me. I’ll hold that moment forever.

In general we simply need to strive for more of those moments, for when we are old and leaving this world that is what we will remember. Those memories are the ones we will hang on to and cherish. We will not wish we worked more or made more money, for in the end money won’t be what matters. In the end we will remember the love and the laughter.

So the next time you are bored and wondering what the hell is wrong with your life, STOP! Take that moment to create something amazing to hang onto or for someone else to hang on to. Create a special moment. Make someone you love feel completely as special as they are to you. Shine the sun of love upon them and watch the flowers of a new memory bloom all around.

Know that in THAT moment you truly lived. Know that in that moment you actually found that “meaning of life” stuff that we all search for. Because really THAT is the meaning, that is the purpose, and in the end that will be what mattered most in this whole crazy journey.