You just never know what might pop out of my mouth at any given moment. I might be talking about my Indian Ringneck, or Full Time RVing. Maybe I'll be talking about the path to happiness or griping about the state of healthcare or maybe about chronic illness. I have lots to say and sometimes I'm just plain RANDOM.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Sick and Tired


Have you ever had the flu so bad or for so long that you just didn’t know how you could go on like that? Have you ever been so sick that the thought of living one more day in that condition just felt impossible? Have you ever felt so exhausted that it felt like you might never feel rested enough again?
Imagine feeling like that most of the time. Imagine this lasting for months at at time. Imagine that your good days are those short periods of time when everything is just somewhat ok and your bad days not only out number them but are beyond bad into the miserable.
Now imagine trying to explain this to anyone who has not had to live with these types of symptoms or ailments.
For instance, I know my husband loves me and understands as much as someone who hasnot lived with this can understand. I know he tries to be there for me and he does an amazing job. However, I don’t have a way to explain to him how hard it is for me to be so exhausted that I can’t even spend time with him. I don’t have a way to explain to him that I’m in so much pain and so miserable that most days I have a hard time figuring out how to keep moving forward into the next day. He understands for the most part but there is so much of this I cannot even put into words and when I try I can see the confusion on his face.
You might be someone with chronic illness and totally relate to this. You might be someone who knows someone with chronic illness and you try so hard to relate to them. Or, you might be like a few I know who have chronic illness and because you haven’t reached this point yet you don’t understand and you think anyone who’s where I’m at has given up. I haven’t. I don’t plan to. But I promise that there are a LOT of moments that are not easy and I am so tired of being tired, in pain, and miserable.