Defining Moments

Posted on March 8, 2011 by Tracy Seekins

There are some moments in our life that when we look back we realize were defining moments. You never know what a defining moment might be. A choice that we made which changed our life. Advice we took or didn’t take that shaped our path. Embrace your defining moments.

But what makes something a defining moment? I think a defining moment is a moment in time where the choice you made set you on a particular course for a given period of time. A defining moment might not change who you became but it certainly changes dramatically how you came to be there.

Let’s look at some of my defining moments and see how they changed the course of my life as an example.

My Defining Moments:

1. Discussing my desire to become a minister with my Baptist Pastor/Principal

At this moment in my life I was becoming. I was a young teen and very impressionable. I felt the call as strongly as anyone ever has or could. I chose to discuss this strong desire with my current Pastor who happened to be Baptist. Little did I know that he would tell me to find another path because women could not be ministers. How is this defining? Well, if I had chosen to discuss this with my Methodist Minister at the church I grew up in I might have been put on a very different course. She might have given me the tools to develop into a Christian Minister and I might today be preaching at a church somewhere in Maine with an entirely different life. I might never have followed the path that led me to my husband and the life I have now.

2. Choosing to date “he who shall remain nameless” as revenge for Fran

This one is a very big defining moment for me. This set the course that I would travel for a very long time. Unfortunately I fell head over heels for this young man and we had a connection that was undeniable. Other decisions would make us be apart but the course and path that this set me upon would lead us back together many times until that final time when I got pregnant with a child that I was meant to have.

Had I chosen NOT to do this for my friend Fran, I might never have followed the path that eventually led to my oldest son. I might not have had the experiences which led me to my husband. Because once again this moment and my being pregnant and alone was part of what led me to seek out the man I am now with. Knowing he actually cared for me was enough to want to just spend some time with my oldest and best friend.

3. Choosing to move to Florida

I’m not sure if this one is entirely defining but I included it because I was only in 10th grade. I made the choice. When I was in Florida I skipped school a lot because it was so easy to do there and because of that I never graduated the way I would have if I had stayed in Maine. I also met the man who is now my EX husband while in Florida and that part of my path was difficult and changed who I am and how I got to be who I am. The move itself was the defining moment because it affected so many other smaller decisions and experiences that I had for years to come.

Had I not chosen to move to Florida I might have graduated, with pretty good grades, and gone on to college. I might have become a psychologist. Maybe I would have completely given up on my spiritual aspirations in pursuit of science.

4. Going on that first date with John Seekins

Yup this was definitely a defining moment. You might say that meeting him so many years before was in fact the defining moment because that may actually be what set us on our course toward each other but for me that first real date in 1991 was the defining moment. Realizing that someone could actually love me the way that he did. Realizing that someone out there thought I was worth something, even though at the time I didn’t. That date was defining in a way that was easily able to be seen, because from that moment we knew we would be together no matter what. We have walked this path together no matter how difficult it has been at times and from that moment our path’s were intertwined.

If I had chosen to say no when he called, the entire last 20 years of my life would have been different. I might not have had my other 2 children. I might have never found a true companion for my life. This, for me, was a MAJOR defining moment.

5. Reading the Celestine Prophecy as recommended by my friend Stephen

I’m sure he is tired of hearing me talk about this. He himself probably has never thought twice about it, but for me this was the book that set me on a course of spiritual and self discovery and why I continue to share my path with others so openly. This book was probably the defining moment in my spiritual life that has set me upon the course I am currently on. The reason I found a place to fit and the reason I continue to learn everything I can.

I know reading a simple book sounds silly as a defining moment but this book was the first experience I ever had of an “aha” moment. It was the first that made sense to me and made sense of all that I was and had experienced in my life. This book set me off on a course to find more knowledge, to find more “aha” moments, to find more people who understood in this way. Without this book I might never have discovered myself.

6. Taking out a loan on our home

Sadly this defining moment is one we have mixed feelings over. For though we truly love our lives now, we also regret losing our home. However, I’m not sure we ever would have had the courage to do what we have done in the past four years without a defining moment such as this. This allowed me to trust the universe in a way that I had not done before. It allowed us to see and experience and learn things that we would not have done without such a moment. So though there are mixed feelings it was one of those moments that set us upon a necessary path and for that I am grateful.

This is the final defining moment for now. And quite possibly I will look back later and realize this was not the actual defining moment but something smaller a bit earlier on. For now I will settle with this. If we had not taken the loan then John would have built the business a bit slower. He might not have had the rapid decline in his health but if he did we wouldn’t have lost our home because of it. We would still be living in Maine, struggling with bills, and living day to day. Instead we did lose our home and got a camper. We chose to see the positive in that and moved forward. We have met and experienced amazing people and places. We have listened to the voice of Spirit leading us and protecting us. We have met Angels on Earth. And now we are in a place that feels right, at least until the next defining moment.

So as you can see, In a life of 40 years, I can only look back and see 6 really truly defining moments. Everything between those moments was set into motion by those moments. Of course the biggest defining moment for us all is our own birth but that one is so obvious I didn’t put it up there.

Sometimes we regret one moment but the next one is so amazing that we cannot imagine having missed it. For instance I have in the past regretted those first three choices, but if I had not made them I might never have had that fourth one and I wouldn’t trade my relationship with my husband for anything. So if I wouldn’t give up being with him, then I have to embrace and appreciate the moments that led me there and I do.

Can you look back at your life and see your defining moments? How might your life have been different if at that moment you made a different choice?

If you are feeling sad or upset about a recent choice or decision, one of those ones that cannot be changed and is just done, remember that it might be something that is leading you to that next moment and that next moment might be the one you wouldn’t trade for ANYTHING!