I am just me

Originally Posted on January 17, 2011 by Tracy Seekins

I am who I am. I am just me. I’m honest about who I am, not because I choose to be but because I am a terrible liar. I talk when I’m nervous and sometimes that means I might simply spurt out information I really didn’t want to share with you but oh well now you have it.

I don’t understand people who are not honest and therefore I often expect people will be honest and be who they are even though I am proven wrong on that far more often than I would like.

I don’t understand why people feel they need to make up stories about themselves or be something or someone who they are not in order to get attention. I don’t understand why false attention, which is what is accomplished with false stories, would even satisfy any need.

I am who I am. I am complex and sometimes even complicated. I am highly spiritual. I am happy and content with my life most of the time and yet sometimes I am deeply depressed. I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a lover, and yet none of that tells you who I am. I am not defined by the roles I play and yet they play a part in who I am and who I am to become. I am learning every day and having new experiences with every breath.

I am wise from the experiences I have enjoyed and endured in my life and yet I am still young because there is always so much more to learn and experience. I am no better than anyone else. Sometimes I will learn from you and other times you may learn from me.

I try too hard quite often and worry far more than I should. I have shortcomings and my own issues just like anyone else does.

No person is ever done learning. No person is perfect. I am well aware of these facts and often times I am too aware because I feel that this awareness holds me back because I sometimes feel that I am not enough to accomplish what another part of me knows I can and should be doing.

I am who I am. I cannot explain who I am in any one article or short section of writing. I do not even believe a book could contain the “who” in who I am. I can tell you of my experiences and even how they affected me but you will not know me by my writings or stories. In fact you will not know me by talking to me unless you choose to know me.

Something I have learned about people is this. You will only know of me or of anyone else what you want to know or what your own perception allows you to see. I can be as honest as I want to be, I can be ME 100% every minute of every day and it will not matter a whit unless you can see 100% honestly and openly. Nobody can do this. You can choose to try and in the trying you will see more honestly than most but our own perceptions and experiences will always overshadow the truth that is before us.

This information to me says there is no sense in pretending to be anything because most people are still only going to see what they allow themselves to see and therefore you may as well be your authentic self because pretending is tiring and really does nobody any good.