Finding The New Normal

Posted on October 29, 2011 by Tracy Seekins

I think the hardest thing about living in pain every single day is learning your own limitations. Doing too much in a given day will make your symptoms worse, but we all crave to live a normal life.

Different people living with Fibromyalgia are often at different stages and levels of the disease. Some people have no problem continuing to work, going for 5 mile walks, going shopping, or any number of other activities. While others are in so much pain and at such a progression of the disease that they cannot do much more than go to the bathroom before they have to lay back down.

Sadly I have recently learned that even people with Fibromyagia are not always understanding of others with the same condition who are living with different capabilities. This being the case I know that it is that much harder for people who are not ill to understand those of us who are living with limited capabilities.

When I first got my diagnosis, I was still of the mind that I wasn’t going to let it stop me from being ME. What that meant was I was still going to do all the things I normally did, going bowling, going for walks, dancing, playing with my children, cooking, going shopping, and numerous other activities that are necessary as well as my enjoyable ones.

I quickly learned that this was not possible. At the beginning of my diagnosis I was only 26 years old. I became depressed when I couldn’t do as much in a day as I wanted to. I became depressed when even my husband didn’t understand my pain. I became depressed because I couldn’t go out and be what I thought was ME.

Slowly over a few years I began to develop a new me. I learned my limitations and lived within them. I made choices about how much I could do in a day and what I would include in that. There was a lot I could still do. I could still do everything I enjoyed and needed to do, just not all in the same day. So I learned to prioritize and schedule better.

As the years have gone by and my disease has progressed. I have lost the ability to do much that I used to. Slowly, over time, my body has become more painful and less co-operative. I can no longer go bowling. I developed bursitis in my right shoulder and the pain of bowling is simply too much. I cannot go for long walks because my hips and knees can’t handle it anymore and the exhaustion lasts for days. I still take short ones when I’m well enough though.

Standing for long periods to cook or do dishes is excruciating so we try to do the dishes as they are used for less standing and my wonderful husband, who now understands and helps me greatly, does a lot of the cooking.

Shopping was becoming challenging. I could walk through about half the store before my body gave out but then I was stuck, so now I just grab a riding cart even if I feel good, because why take the chance and I can always take a walk later to make up for what I didn’t walk in the store.

Life with Fibromyalgia is a constant adjustment. You might start out in a very bad place but then find your balance and realize it’s not so bad. You might start out not so bad and then get worse over time. You might be one of the lucky ones to is pretty mild and remains that way.

Every one of us is different. We all struggle and suffer with different symptoms, pains, and capabilities. Some days will be worse than others for every one of us. Some days will be better too. And on those better days embrace it. Don’t overdo it but enjoy it. Go out into the sun and be grateful for the moment in time that is better. And on those bad days remember that you are not as alone as you might feel. Others are struggling right by your side.

Learning to live with Fibromyalgia is a challenge, but it is a challenge we can face. We can learn to adjust as needed and live our new normal. And in that new normal we can learn how to be happy once more.