Happiness is a Choice

Happiness the Choice

Originally Posted on March 7, 2011 by Tracy Seekins

I asked a question on both Facebook and The Monastary (which is the site for ULC Ministers). The question was this – “Someone asked me today how you stay happy or at least not sink into a negative energy depression during difficult times. We talked for a long time about ways to make happiness a habit. However, I would like to hear from you. Your ideas. How do YOU stay positive during the difficulties of life?”

I recieved only a few answers like: Ask God to tuck me in, Listen to Liberace, Difficulties become doors of Opportunity, and the like. But there were 2 answers that stood out to me. Two answers that amazed me. All the answers were wonderful and appreciated but these two in particular I thought would be very helpful to someone seeking guidance when it comes to happiness.

The first was from my friend Shelby. Our history is not one filled always with love and joy. She and I have walked a rough road together and we have each walked our own difficult paths as well. But somehow we always come back together. I have always seen a light in her that nobody else understood, maybe not even she herself. Here is her assessment of how to remain positive in difficult times.

Shelby – “it’s not the easiest thing to do sometimes. I have to lock myself in this house and read but mostly i just try to center myself and the thought that always seems to get me back on track is ‘wow it could be so much worse’. I know, I’ve seen some much worse times. Though, for some this might not be a phrase that could bring reality back and even then I have those days, so I talk to the one person who always makes me happy no matter what and then I get back to being positive!!”

I didn’t ask her who that one person was because really it doesn’t matter. For some that might be God, for others a spouse or friend and still others might be their child or someone else. I think the two important points were these: 1. Remember it can ALWAYS be worse and 2. Talk to the person who makes you feel better, whoever that might be. Talk to someone who helps you remember the positive you.

The second answer I recieve was from a new friend over on the ULC Monastary site. His name is Rev. Rick Bailly but I tend to call everyone there brother or sister so to me this is Brother Rick. I was so impressed by his response that I felt compelled to write this blog. Here is Brother Rick’s assessment of how to remain positive in difficult times.

Brother Rick – “The ONE thing we have control over in the universe is “what we choose to focus our attention on”. If you accept also that whatever you choose to focus on will grow in your life, then it only makes sense to focus on what you want more of. I often use this example in my classes: I have the students spend 2 minutes looking around the room making a mental note of everything they see that is, say, the color brown. Then I have them close their eyes and list to me everything in the area that is GREEN. Unless they are very familiar with their surroundings, they usually laugh, as if I tricked them in some way. The point is you choose what you focus your attention on. You can focus on the brown, or shall we say, “feces” color, the green if your down on your finances or you can see the entire rainbow. Yes, I know people who are “so miserable they’re having the time of their life!’, but for most people they just never realized how much control they have over what they get from life. It all comes down to focus and choice”

Focus and choice! Amazing and so very on target. I truly believe that happiness is a choice. When you wake in the morning and feel tired and crabby, you get to choose if you are going to spend your day that way. If you have a really bad moment during the day, say someone cuts you off in traffic, you can choose whether to focus on that for the rest of the day or whether to focus on the good moments, like your best friend’s smile or a child’s laugh.

Focus and Choice are the entire reason I highly recommend keeping a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is a simple tool to help you re-focus on the good things, it helps you re-focus on those things that DO make us happy or content.

To keep a gratitude journal all you need is a notebook or one of those pretty blank books. Every morning when you wake write down 5 happpy thoughts from the day before or simply 5 happy thoughts that you will carry with you for this day. At night write down 5 things you are grateful for from the day. After only a few days you will begin to see your focus change, your perception change, and in that change your choices become different. It feels good to be happy and content. If we are aware of it and know how to create it we will most often choose it.

Do not search for happiness, as happiness is always around. It is a state of being that IS natural to us. We need not seek it but simply choose it.

I hope you have found something helpful here. May your journey be filled with happy moments. Namaste.

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